Looking Back, and Maybe Forward, a Little, but Mostly Living in the Present

As a parent, I am not much for sentimental reflections about what used to be. Life marches on, sands go through the hourglass, time waits for no one, we raise our children to let them go -- what, you haven't gone yet, kid? Go, go, go!

Yes, I'm all about looking to the future. For example, I am itching to turn all the kids' old bedrooms into a series of bitchin' themed rooms. The piece de resistance will be an exact replica of my college apartment, circa 1981, complete with posters of The Clash, Dan Fouts and Cheryl Tiegs; a larder stocked with Falstaff-brewed plain-label beer (white can, black type sez "BEER"; accept no substitute), mac & cheese, ramen noodles and turkey dogs; some rank, dingy furniture and stained shag carpet; a vintage record player and crates of old LPs. And for old times' sake, I'll have my hot college girlfriend over for some Domino's pizza and a little action on the smelly, sagging couch.

I'm gonna need to move quickly, though, for I fear my wife has other plans. I walked in on her unexpectedly in one of the rooms, and she quickly shoved a tape measure and wallpaper samples down her blouse. I'm tempted to check her Internet history, see if she's been surfing home-decor porn again --you know, the Ethan Allen website and such. I might have to sweeten this deal by offering her the role of Hot College Girlfriend. Yes, I'm sure that would cinch it.

The point is I am adjusting just fine to our slowly emptying nest.

OK, I admit this is a bit of brave facade, for even I get a little wistful and sentimental, especially during the holidays and especially this year. For 2010 is a milestone for us. By this time next year, our oldest son will be out of college, married and -- dear God, let it be so -- employed. Our second son is probably a year or so behind him. Another daughter started college this year; our youngest is a freshman in high school who took great pleasure in pointing out middle of this semester that she was 1/16th of the way through high school already.

So, this likely is the last year that the nuclear family will gather -- just the six of us -- to celebrate the Yuletide and ring in another new year. And they won't be around the house for long, as they all have other, more enticing, offers. My wife had to have everyone get their calendars out last night to schedule a time to make Christmas cookies together. I think we found a two-hour window on the 24th that will work for all, but stay tuned.

I don't want to overplay this; I'm sure plenty of adventures await us, including plenty of family Christmases. Heck, in a few more years I expect to have grandkids gathering 'round me to plead, "Grandpa, please, please, please tell us more stories about being a newspaperman. And Grandpa, what is a newspaper?"

When you first have children, older parents love to tell you, "cherish every moment; they grow up so fast." And you roll your eyes because you cannot imagine this innocent, helpless babe in arms learning to go to the bathroom and dress him or herself, going to that first sleepover, learning to drive, going on a first date and falling in love (presumably, not all in the same night). But they're right, of course. It's gone in the blink of an eye.

My wife sometimes says she'd give just about anything to go back in time and have one week, one day, one hour of her life back when our children were small -- just one more moment with them on her lap, looking at her as if she were the center of their world and could do no wrong. And, truth be told, so would I.

But that's not to be. While even I might indulge in some longing glances to past Christmases this week, we'll mostly celebrate the present.

And I might allow myself to imagine the future. The scene: what appears to be an early '80s college apartment, lit only by a flickering neon Coors sign, "The River" scratchily playing on a cheap stereo, a couple grappling on an ugly, stained couch. The door suddenly opens, light floods in and a tiny voice yells, "Grandpa, what are you and Grandma doing?"

Note to self: Make sure to put a deadbolt on the inside of that door.