A dumb blonde found a copy of “The Total Woman” and wanted to try its advice of meeting her husband at the door nude and wrapped in cellophane. But she was out of cellophane, had to improvise and ended up with a nasty case of aluminum foil rash all over her body. Worse, she discovered her husband has a foil fetish. Now he only gets interested if she lets him call her Reynolds and offers herself to him shiny side up.