Friday, December 13, 2013

Yes, Virginia, Santa Claus is white



"DEAR MEGYN KELLY: I am 8 years old.
"Some of my little friends say Santa Claus isn't white.
"Papa says, 'If you see it on Fox News, it’s so.’
"Please tell me the truth: is Santa Claus white?”

VIRGINIA, your little liberal friends are wrong. They have been affected by the silliness of a politically correct age. They believe whatever Barack Obama, Rachel Maddow and their public school teachers tell them.

Yes, Virginia, Santa Claus is white. He is white as surely as Sarah Palin, Rush Limbaugh and John Boehner. OK, maybe that last is a bad example.

Yes, perhaps he seems like a black Muslim socialist like Barack Hussein Obama, on account of giving so many things away. But remember, he keeps naughty and nice lists, so only those who earn them receive gifts. That is the American way.
 
Yes, VIRGINIA, Santa Claus is white. How dreary would be the world if he were black. Why, instead of a sleigh pulled by eight reindeer, he would travel in ... well, however blacks travel, I don’t know. Instead of leaving out cookies and milk for him, you’d leave out ... well, I don’t know, whatever blacks eat. Malt liquor and fried chicken?

Not believe Santa Claus is white! You might as well not believe in concealed-carry gun laws! You might get your papa to hire men to watch in all the chimneys on Christmas Eve to shoot a selfie with Santa Claus, but while he’s doing that, some black guys probably are breaking in through a window, so maybe don’t after all.

No white Santa Claus! No! He lives, and he lives forever. A thousand years from now, Virginia, nay, ten times ten thousand years from now, white Santa will continue to make glad the hearts of childhood.

OK, he actually may be Hispanic by then. :(

Sincerely,
Megyn Kelly, Fox News