No death penalty, scholarship losses or bowl bans for Miami. No, something much more diabolical: Make The 'Canes relocate, take their talents from South Beach to, say, Fargo. Snowmobiles and ice fishing instead of yachts and surfing, where a well-heeled booster might offer fast-food coupons rather than tens of thousands in cash, and where the hookers wear snowsuits, mukluks and skin as pale as snowdrifts and carry around about 75 extra pounds of winter insulation instead of stuffing shapely tanned flesh into bikinis. That oughta take the starch out of The U, eh?