Husker football has rich, fascinating tradition. Especially if you make it up.

Just to recap, for those who haven't been paying attention, a month or so of Amazing if True Husker/B1G Trivia:

26 Days and Counting: JoePa finally set up a Twitter account this summer. His first tweet: "You kids get off my lawn!"

25 Days and Counting: After Nebraska dismantled Florida to win the '95 national title, three Gators were unaccounted for. Later that evening Grant Wistrom burped up a running back's fibula.

24 Days and Counting: As any NU fan can tell you proudly, on game day Memorial Stadium in Lincoln is the 366th largest city in America.

23 Days and Counting: Big 10 fans, you'll want to welcome the new team's backers properly. Here's a sure-fire barroom-conversation starter when NU's in town: "Man, that Todd Blackledge was a helluva QB, wasn't he? He played a great game against you guys in '82." Make sure you have a cocktail napkin and pen available because Husker Fan is gonna need a visual aid, move back a few feet to avoid the spittle, remove all sharp objects from his reach and enjoy the show.

22 Days and Counting: Ndamukong Suh wasn't actually recruited by Nebraska. He was left on the athletic department's doorstep one night in a basket, with a note pinned to his shoulder pads from his parents that said, "We can't afford to feed our baby anymore. Please take good care of him, raise him in the ways of the Cornhusker and, while you're at it, teach him to rip quarterbacks' heads off." And the rest, as they say, is history.

21 Days and Counting: 'Til this year, as any birdwatcher could have told you, the name Bubba Starling was known only to refer to the southern U.S. cousin to the European Starling. Bubba Starlings are known for their unusually protruding bellies, curious markings resembling overall straps, their drawling mating call and the fact they can be attracted to feeders with chewing tobacco, beer and beef jerky and that race car tracks are their preferred nesting sites.

20 Days and Counting: Husker fan this year is like the pathetic dude who's gone through an bitter breakup with a girlfriend. Though he's the one who broke it off, and though his new girlfriend is SO much hotter, he's still pissed at and obsessed with his ex. He watches her from afar and roots for her to be miserable. "Oh, look, another guy's dumping the bitch. What a surprise!" Let's move on, Husker fans. After all, we really weren't that into her, anyway.

19 Days and Counting: In a secret operation, doctors last week replaced Joe Paterno's right shoulder and pelvis after he was run over by a player, completing their covert reconstruction of him over the last 25 years. Now, he's like Steve Austin, "better than he was before. Better, stronger, faster." In fact, the only original JoePa parts left are the coke-bottle glasses and Brooklyn accent. They even had to artificially add old man smell for authenticity.

18 Days and Counting: Old NU nemesis Barry Switzer is a modern medical marvel, having achieved a permanent blood-alcohol content of .18. Teetotaling Tom Osborne got hammered for the only time, via second-hand alcohol consumption, when he stood downwind of Barry at a news conference. Doctors say the ol' bootlegger's boy is quite literally pickled and thus could live forever. They call this heretofore unknown medical phenomenon Sooner F---ing Magic, of course.

17 Days and Counting: Many otherwise level-headed, reasonable adults occasionally get unhealthily obsessed with the life choices of 17-to-20-year-old young men. Henceforth, this condition shall be called Bubbaphilia.

16 Days and Counting: Scientists studying Tommie Frazier's legendary 75-yard TD run against Florida in '96 have concluded, after watching the video frame by frame thousands of times, that there's a moment in that tackle-breaking scrum when Frazier tore a hole in the time-space continuum and slipped into a parallel universe, where he lived for 40 years, before slipping back into our universe, in what was for us just a split second later, and going on to score.

15 Days and Counting: Husker fans cannot watch Jets games on TV because the occasional camera shot of assistant coach Bill Callahan on the sidelines still sparks furious seizures and fits of throwing objects at the screen. (And as long as we're talking about Callahan, F---in' Hillbillies still would be a great name for a speed-bluegrass band.)

14 Days and Counting: When Tom Osborne drinks a little too much milk, gets hopped up on calcium and forgets to take his heart meds, he gets a little loopy and can be talked into doing his incredible Steve Spurrier impression, which ends with him spraying spittle every whichaway and grabbing his visor and throwing it on the ground in fury. It is not to be missed.

13 Days and Counting: NU is unveiling an exciting new offense this season -- the 3D Offense. Be sure to pick up your free 3D glasses when you enter the stadium. Put them on and check it out: it looks like the offense is actually moving! Awesome.

12 Days and Counting: A&M brags about its 12th Man tradition. Big deal. NU has 81,067 people in the stadium champin' at the bit to step in at a moment's notice, grab the headset from that clueless jackwagon in the coach's booth and call the offense because, for chrissake, how hard can it be to come up with a play to convert a 3rd-and-2? (As for me, I keep my own secret playbook zipped away in a compartment in my portable stadium seat; I assume others do the same.)

11 Days and Counting: NU fans pride ourselves on sportsmanship, applauding opponents, win or lose, as they leave the field. It's not quite as it seems: University stocks the corner of the stadium where visiting teams exit with ringers -- Mormons, Quakers, nuns & the like. In '90, Colorado coach Bill McCartney inadvertently led his team to the wrong corner and saw several of his Buffs roughed up by fans. McCartney barely survived; 'twas the day he found Jesus, BTW.

10 Days and Counting: The new head football coach at Minnesota is Jerry Kill. Yes. As in Kill, Gophers. When Minnesota plays in Lincoln, one hopes the Husker student section can be counted on to lead the chants of "Carl Spackler."

9 days and Counting: I saw Tommie Frazier & family at grocery store. Helluva sight. He grabbed a dozen eggs, scampered to right side of the aisle, then, right before he collided with an old lady's cart, pitched them back to his son, as his daughter flattened a stockboy who was in the way. Shoppers applauded, but his family looked exhausted. I guess he drills 'em on playbook nightly. Kinda sad, really. Years of therapy, but the man cannot stop running the option

8 Days and Counting: The Cornhusker Marching Band has a very nice tribute planned for its new conference mates when the Buckeyes play in Lincoln Oct. 8. At halftime, the NU band will march into that classic Ohio script formation, then spell out Nebraska before ending in a giant sweater vest pattern on the field.

7 Days and Counting: NU's offense fumbled 45 times last year. So, it's back to basics this season, as Coach Bo's gonna try an age-old motivational trick in which every time a player fumbles he'll spend the following week required to carry the ball with him everywhere he goes. To drive the point home, though, a Pelinian twist: Bo will give the ball to the offending player in suppository form.

7 Days and Counting: Got a new DVD of Husker highlights from the 2000s. From 2004-2007, though, there's just a cartoon figure of Tom Osborne wearing a hardhat, scowling and holding a hammer and, written underneath, "Please be patient. We are experiencing technical difficulties." Then the highlights resume in 2008.

6 Days and Counting: First forward pass in NU history was, like so many of history's technological and scientific advances, an accident. A QB was trying to hand off but the ball slipped from his hand and went forward 5 yards, caught by a wide receiver, a species previously kept on the roster only to serve as the subjects of hazing, and an occasional appetizer, for offensive linemen. The year was 1980. Osborne liked it so much, he called another pass. In 1985.

5 Days and Counting: Two new multi-lane roundabouts have been built near Memorial Stadium to help with game-day traffic flow. Excellent idea. They also have a second purpose: On days when the Huskers lose, they will serve as post-game demolition derby tracks where fans can work off their anger and frustration. The design even includes a clever drainage system designed by Nebraska engineering students for sluicing away blood and body and car parts.

5 Days and Counting: The Lincoln Chamber of Commerce already is concerned about Miami’s game against the Huskers here Sept. 20, 2014. This town doesn’t have nearly enough hookers to meet The U’s needs. They may need to bus some in from KC.

4 Days and Counting: New hotshot Wisconsin quarterback Russell Wilson may be all that, but rumor has it he practices quick kicks using puppies and kittens. Just thought someone might wanna mention that to noted animal lover Jared Crick shortly before the Husker-Badger kickoff Oct. 1, that's all I'm sayin'.

3 Days and Counting: In 1982 Mike Rozier posted a disparaging remark about the 1971 Huskers, saying they weren't fit to hold the '82 team's jocks and noting that Bob Devaney wasn't all that. Fortunately, Twitter hadn't been invented yet, so the observation went unseen in Rozier's college-rule notebook, interspersed with pages and pages of sketches of himself striking a Heisman pose.

2 Days and Counting: Don't be fooled by his name. Husker mascot Lil' Red gets no complaints from the ladies.

1 Day and Counting: Today is the Friday before the 1st game, when all Nebraskans get mandatory red chest painting for the year. Legend has it that some especially well-endowed women go so far as to have a coupla pigskins painted up top. And certain men ask for the so-called "full Devaney," an all-over paint job. Be careful -- you do NOT want to make any "Go Big Red" references around these guys. To be on the safe side, avoid references to the Peter brothers, too.

1 Day and Counting: Amazing if True Husker/B1G Trivia: Big 10 game officials spent 6 weeks this summer in intensive training for handling the coach of the conference's new team. A few rules: 1) Do not make direct eye contact with him when he's in attack mode. 2) Do not turn your back on him and run; he senses fear. 3) If he attacks, fall on turf and play dead; after he sniffs your body for a few minutes, he may wander off in search of other prey. 4) Taser is allowed after the third f-bomb.

GBR!