Many are complaining the first nationally broadcast Emergency Alert System warning today was garbled. Well, some of us understood it loud and clear, and, frankly, it was quite alarming. Can’t go into details, but suffice it to say, you poor saps Not Chosen to hear it are well and truly f---ed. To put it another way: The Fall of the House of Paterno is only the First Tribulation, with 1,117 yet to come -- and yes, they include a Herman Cain-Michele Bachmann administration.