Who am I to mock? My wife tried to dump me after 72 days, too, until I reminded her of the pre-nup she’d signed in a weak moment. Legally, I can’t go into much detail, but for the $1,500 monthly beer-and-pizza allowance she would have owed me in perpetuity. There was a clause in there, too, that would have required her to come over to my bachelor pad in the trailer park and pick up my dirty clothes off the floor to wash. Well, crap, she figured; if she was gonna have to feed me and do my laundry anyway, might as well stick it out. So, here she is, still with me, 27 years – OK, 143.97 Kardashians – later.