I’ll celebrate Opening Day in my usual fashion – keep up a steady patter of infield chatter all day, scratch myself inappropriately in public, spit tobacco juice all over and brush someone back with a stapler thrown behind his ear, starting a benches-clearing brawl in the breakroom. And tonight, screw it, I’m gonna rebroadcast without the express written consent of Major League Baseball. Play ball! And go Cubbies!