Republicans have a hit on their hands

Good news for the GOP. Network execs, impressed by the debates' boffo action and ratings so far, have renewed the pilot series for at least six months. Oh sure, they wanna tinker a bit, because that's what network execs do.

To wit:

-- How to resolve Mitt and Rick's Sam-and-Diane act? Fisticuffs or a big "I-love-you-man" bromantic hug? Need to focus-group that one.

-- Cain may be overplaying crazy a bit; let's tone it down. Fewer references to killing illegal immigrants maybe.

-- Time to write Huntsman out; he brings nothing to the table and we already got the Mormon demographic covered anyway. Maybe have him spontaneously combust next time Bachmann gives him her crazy eyes.

-- In cliffhanger, Santorum will be caught at end of one episode in a compromising position, on his knees in a Minneapolis airport men's room. At beginning of next episode, camera pulls back to show him merely reciting the Rosary. Whew!

-- Not enough sex. Introduce a new love interest for someone. Gingrich was quick to volunteer, but that's a little too spot on.

-- As an aside, love, love, love the plot twist on the other side of the aisle -- Obama's teleprompter being stolen. Definitely gonna work that in -- our heroic president rendered speechless, unable even to say “hope and change” or to remember who, exactly, is the change we've been waiting for. Will his teleprompter resurface in time for him to run for re-election? Stay tuned.

But back to the main act:

-- Still gotta figure out a way to get Palin on the show; she kills. Maybe we sneak her into every scene on the campaign trail, a la Alfred Hitchcock's pop-ups in his own films? Or could she be the aforementioned love interest? For Ron Paul? Hmm. Get writers to storyboard that, though, please, not too explicitly.

-- Finally, see what else debate audiences will boo. A basket of adorable kittens? Children in wheelchairs? Kittens in wheelchairs?

Yep, no doubt about it. We got a hit here.