Oscar night

Assorted FB posts from Oscar night.

-- I believe my outfit for tonight's festivities is on that satisfying razor's edge between making the best-dressed or worst-dressed list.

-- "I hate it when women shave their heads." -- Oscars $#@! My Teenage Daughter Says. (Yes, that's right, on seeing Robin Roberts.)

-- So, what are the side boob regulations tonight? Jack Nicholson needs to know ASAP.

-- Seth Rogen, Seth Green, Seth Meyers, Seth Avett. How hard could this have been?

-- The greatest mystery of Oscar night: how the world's most gifted actors can come across so hideously awkward and uncomfortable in these presenting schticks.

-- Robin Roberts looked terrific on the red carpet. Not a lot of people know this, but she's had cancer.

-- They don't like you, Sally. They really, really don't like you.

-- At this point, I'm just hanging in there for the Dodge Ram "So God Made a Narcissistic, Self-Congratulatory Actor" ad.

-- I don't mind that Affleck, Clooney and Jackman all make me feel like a girly man, but I really resent that Jessica Chastain in "Zero Dark Thirty" did, too.