My romantic instincts are so keenly honed I walk up to the Valentine card display and in five seconds pick the first card I see for my wife, just knowing it will be perfect, while all these schlubs around me spend 15 minutes poring over them all. I wish I could teach this instinctive gift, guys, but you either have it or you don't. Oh crap, this is a Valentine for Grandma. Well, maybe she won't notice if I ply her with enough wine before I give it to her.