If your young son insists on being referred to by his first, middle and last names at all times, he’s 87% more likely to have the cops one day digging in his crawlspace and backyard for human remains. And if your young daughter insists on being known only by one name, she’s at a similarly high risk of becoming an overhyped and probably underdressed pop diva. I don’t know which is worse, but either way, nip it in the bud now. #StuffTheyDontTellYouInTheParentingManuals.