Why it is that every time there's one of those tragic TV news reports about a woman who's missing or murdered and the husband's been arrested, my wife makes it a point of turning to me, scowling and harrumphing. Hell, she and I both know that if our marriage ends in homicide -- maritacide? -- I'll be the victim. Which reminds me, if they find me in pieces in the deep freeze, don't believe the suicide note.