I have great faith in Americans' basic ingenuity, or at least their basic smartassness. So, the perfect protest for the new airport security patdowns: As the TSA screener makes his way to your naughty bits, start moaning loudly, a la Meg Ryan in "When Harry Met Sally." Then, the person who follows you says, "I'll have what he/she had" and does the same thing. And so on. One week of this embarrassment, and the government caves.