One reason the Newt Gingrich story isn't catching on is it lacks the irresistible euphemisms of other famous recent extramarital adventures -- Senator Craig's "I have a wide stance," Governor Sanford's "walking the Appalachian Trail," Pastor George Rekers' "I hired him to carry my luggage." Let's see what we can do with Newt: "Banging the Speaker's gavel" is a bit too obvious. "Invoking cloture" isn't bad, but that's a Senate thing. Maybe "passing the stimulus package?"