As is my custom, upon the family's gathering at my mother-in-law's today, I will brief everyone on the acceptable and unacceptable topics of conversation over the holiday. Unacceptable: Election rehash, the fiscal cliff, both Elmo (Sesame Street) AND Grover (Norquist), speculation on future Big 10 membership. Acceptable: "How 'bout this weather?," "How 'bout this pie?", "How 'bout puppies?" and random Terp and Scarlet Knight bashing. Transgressions will be discreetly signaled by my coughing as if I have a turkey bone lodged in my throat and, on second offense, punished by withholding of a moist-maker turkey sandwich leftover.