Gettin' our gay on in Lincoln

The Lincoln Journal-Star reports that someone at Monday’s city council meeting warned the Make Lincoln Fair ordinance would turn our town into a “mecca for all the gay people who would come here and act out their gay lifestyle.”

Well, I for one welcome gaying up Lincoln a bit, turning it into the Provincetown of the Plains, the Castro of the Cornbelt or the Fire Island of Farm Country (Yes, Chamber of Commerce, you may use these.) Better restaurants, better art, better music, better clubs. Hell, I'll bet even the snow removal and pothole repair would get more efficient if done more gayly.

On the other hand, I am a little threatened by the prospect of an influx of better-looking, better-smelling, better-dressed, better-dancing and better-behaved men, and everybody knows the gays don’t like football either. And could I catch gay if I get too close to one of them acting out his gay lifestyle?

Plus, I suppose Phred Felps’ merry band would permanently Occupy Lincoln.

So, I dunno, maybe I’m kinda conflicted after all.