Elf on the Shelf getting old? Perhaps you want to start a new tradition this Christmas and add one of its guilt- and fear-stoking partners to your household's merriment:

-- Yenta on the Mantle, who glares at your adult, single children when they come home for the holidays, wondering why they can't find a nice partner and finally settle down; 

-- Reindeer in the Beer, the broken down former Santa livestock who compensates for his depression during the holidays by getting stinking drunk and making a damn fool of himself; 

-- Midge in the Fridge, the disapproving personal trainer who glowers at you when you open the refrigerator, peeking from behind a carton of eggnog, sitting astride a stick of butter, pulling herself out of a ball of cookie dough; or

-- Guido in the Mistletoe, the menacing debt collector who dangles from above tapping a baseball bat on his hand as he surveys your out-of-control Christmas spending.