Ernie: The Unicam Cat

Inspired by, and with apologies to, "Gus: The Theatre Cat" of "Cats"

He is the Cat on the Unicam floor
His name as I'm sure you have heard before
Is really Ernie, but that name takes it toll
So by Day 56, some just call him "***hole"

His T-shirt is tight
His whiskers gone gray
And he suffers indignation that makes his voice bray
He was in his youth quite the smartest of cats
But thanks to term limits, shut out of the spats
He laid low in Omaha, awaited his time
And now he is back, still a cat in his prime.

Whenever he joins colleagues out on the floor
He loves to regale them even if he's a bore
When he gets cranked up, he goes on and on
He cares not if his listeners yawn.
He served with Warner, sparred with Terrible Terry
He's at his best when he's most contrary.

"I have played in my time every possible part
And I know this chamber's rules quite by heart
I extemporize poetry
I know how to preach
And when it really matters, I'll even beseech.

"Yes, I often lose but it comes at a price
For I know how to put this place in a vise.
Shoot mountain lions? OK, but if it comes to that
I'll never stop clawing -- Ernie, the Unicam Cat."