I'm sorry, but maybe he's just a really bad police sketch artist. #Dove

That'll do, banana slicer reviewers. That'll do.

"You have so much fabulousness you have to tone it down." -- Tim Gunn, "Project Runway." Wow, that is so the story of my life.

Dog groomer called to confirm the shih tzu’s appointment the other day and used her talking-to-dogs voice on me. I have a terrible feeling she doesn’t remember how to use her other voice anymore but was relieved I ended the call right before I think she was gonna ask me, "who's a good boy?"

Exciting news: The Smithsonian's George Jones liver exhibit will open next February. Need specially designed glass case as otherwise to get within 10 feet of it could overcome even the strongest men.

Te'o a Charger? Yeah, that makes sense -- a fake NFL team.

Wife just told daughter and me we cannot sing f-word in Mumfords' "Little Lion Man" at the top of our lungs in the car. Road trip ruined. — at Newton Iowa.

"Brian and I talk SO much about bird poop. We know everything about bird poop." -- $#@! My Newly Chicken Raising Chicken-#$@! Daughter-in-Law Says

Part of Nebraska's supply of lethal injection drug is about to expire. Maybe test its efficacy when combined with a tablespoon of cinnamon?

Everybody please quit talking about the weather. You're just giving it the attention it wants. Ignore it and it might leave us alone.

Kudos to the city of Lincoln for the proposal for a new drought-based water rate structure. A friendly amendment, though: In addition to graduated rates increasing above certain consumption levels, have the color of lawn-sprinkler water change too as usage increases -- yellow, then blue, then, finally, of course, scarlet for the biggest users. That way, the entire community can scorn them for their profligacy.

Thank God SOMEONE in the Lincoln City Council race finally has dared to come out on the side of the community's downtrodden businesses, churches and families.

"I'm sorry, I can't really help. I'm just in customer service." -- clerk at Nobbies in Omaha last night.