Pope Emeritus seems a disappointingly conventional title considering the other options: The Priest Formerly Known as the Pope, Pope Dogg, Pope Diddy, J.R. (Joseph Ratzinger) Popenstuf, etc.

I hope the Vatican gives the Pope a few hours of comp time, maybe let him skip a couple of prayers and cut out early today.

Good Lord, Bob Woodward was threatened by the White House back in the days when it by God meant something. He's really become a whiny baby in his dotage, hasn't he?

Pope leaves behind note: "My beloved people, I was just KIDDING about 'consubstantial.' Good Lord, I'm glad I didn't suggest working in 'impactful,' 'irregardless' or 'YOLO.'"

Sequestration according to Schoolhouse Rock, with a character that looks a little like our old friend Bill, except much seedier:

I'm just sequestration,
Yes, I'm just sequestration,
Here in the capital of a once-great nation.
I’ll cut guns, and I’ll cut butter.
Too bad I won’t cause Congress to shutter.
It’s no way to make decisions so crucial,
But then you’re the ones who elected leaders so douchial.

That smoke reported to be coming out of the Capitol today is NOT a sign Heineman's decided to run for Senate. It's Ernie Chambers going off.

You're all aware IKEA's furniture is made of horsemeat too, right?