A quicker-witted Romney would have responded to Newsweek's tired "wimp" slam by noting Twain's old adage against arguing with anyone who buys ink by the barrel, and then adding, “oh, but wait. They don’t anymore, do they?”

Tough break for Romney: New photos show him windsurfing with his wife's dressage horse.

Tragedy at the Olympics. Bob Costas fell in the pool, still wouldn't shut his mouth. Drowned.

Sightseeing in Israel, Mitt Romney: "That is indeed a wailing wall."

Regrettably, I must decline the invitation to your pool party. I can't stand having all those women staring at me, dressing me with their eyes.

Romney probably should make his next foreign trip to a country that doesn't speak English.

Chik-Fil-A stands its ground, God bless 'em, with a bold new menu item: The Hetero Platter – two perfectly straight chicken strips, stacked missionary style, with Breeder's Cup o' Slaw. NOT available with waffle fries or fruit-cup side dish. And the kids' meals have Leviticus action figures!