Wow. John Edwards already has dates with three jurors. He's still got it!

The truly passionate geometrician is touched by an angle.

I think we're all relieved Jim Morrison didn't live long enough to have received the Medal of Freedom and the spectacle that would have ensued as the Secret Service wrestled his penis to the ground.

I'll bet the world's despots love to play a UN Security Council drinking game. "Sanctions." Drink. "Condemnation in the strongest possible terms." Drink. "This behavior will not be tolerated by the international community." Drink.

Man, I'd love to hear the scathing song Dylan would have written about an aging rock star having a medal put around his neck by a master of war.

Someone let me know when we’re ready to start officially freaking out about flesh-eating bacteria. I still have my H1N1 hazmat suit so I’m good to go.

No, Carl Hiaasen, you may not have a drug-crazed, face-eating naked man in Miami as a character in your next novel. It's been done.