That was just a taste, Nebraska and UNL. Coming to the Lied Center for just three nights in May: "ChancellorDance," Harvey Perlman's one-man show re-creating decades of dance fads from the Charleston on. Critics already are raving that his Electric Slide will bring down the house, and, well, let's just say his Achy Breaky Heart is a particular hit with the ladies.

Frankly, I'm always relieved when our political leaders are at such odds, for if this collection of hacks, nimrods and ass clowns all ever actually agreed on something, it would have to be something catastrophically stupid, perhaps even destroying our republic.

Let's just give up the pretense, Lincoln, and repaint all crosswalks as bull's eyes

As if things weren't bad enough already, Obama had to go and unleash the rage of Nerd Nation -- Star Trek AND Star Wars fans -- by mixing his metaphors today with a "Jedi mind-meld" reference. Picard and his first mate Chewie are NOT amused.

Sequestra-ku (a haiku):

Sequestration, sounds
a bit like castration. Yes,
get rid of these dicks.

Hey guys, where is everyone? I'm down at SouthPointe Mall for some sequestration looting, and no one else is here. C'mon!

Some serious Catholic thinkers are concerned about the implications of two popes in the Vatican at the same time. Some not-so-serious Catholic thinkers -- well, one anyway -- believe this sounds like the setup for a sitcom. Not a good one, mind you. Tyler Perry territory maybe. In which case, I guess we’re talking about two black popes. Hmm, getting funnier. And one’s really neat and the other’s a slob. Now we’re talking.