Although I don't endorse secession, I definitely could get behind immediately revoking the citizenship of anyone who misspells the word on a protest sign. That's what you call a win-win.

America's most beloved general humiliated, nation hurtles toward fiscal cliff, secession talk grows. So, I guess the terrorists won?

Well, this is one of those teachable moments in the workplace, I suppose. I assume I'm not the only one going back through my old office emails to make sure I've never been "flirtatious." I think I'm in the clear, though there were some exchanges about our department's strategic planning process that skated close to the edge of propriety. For example, instances when my use of the words "impactful," "paradigm" and "incentivize" may have come across as sexually suggestive. I do apologize to anyone who may have been offended.

Leach, Gillispie, Tuberville. What is it about coaching in Lubbock that drives men mad? How 'bout a country song, Mac Davis?

Uh-oh. Twitter is over capacity intermittently and the Internet is generally sluggish today. It appears the Pentagon is about to declare a military emergency and shut it down so generals can more quickly scrub their email files.

With an Abe Lincoln mood in the air this week, one imagines his enemies Jefferson Davis and Robert E. Lee are eyeing all the current secession talk with great glee from the beyond, but we’ll see how they feel when Allen West is elected president of the New Confederacy

Next on "Sesame Street," a special warning primer for kids on inappropriate touching: "Do NOT Tickle Me, Elmo!"