Next on "Sesame Street," a special warning primer for kids on inappropriate touching: "Do NOT Tickle Me, Elmo!"

If the New York Post doesn't use the phrase "felt up" in its Elmo headline tomorrow, then print really IS dead.

Dang it, missed it by THAT much: I had the secretary of HUD and Snuffleupagus getting into sex trouble this month in the office scandal pool.

I went to a fight and a NASCAR race broke out.

"said no one ever" -- say no one ever again, please.

Beaucoup Boku (Coach Pelini's occasional reflections, in haiku form):

You all saw the game.
What do you think? No, really.
'cause I got no clue.

Good news for Republicans: FEMA just determined the party is eligible for Hurricane Sandy disaster relief – temporary formaldehyde trailer housing for displaced campaign staff; reconstruction funds; and vouchers for meals, media buys, even Spanish lessons, PTSD counseling and antidepressant meds.