Weather service issues rare Turkey Advisory: Please, people, do not look directly up into rain in awe, lest you drown.

Well, it ain't exactly Hope and Change, but when life hands you 8.3 percent unemployment ... well, you know the rest. So, the Democratic convention this week features the economic theme "It Was Like That When We Got Here."

People who follow the letter but not the spirit of the Lincoln watering restrictions – for instance, watering every day they possibly can – are really gonna love those every-other-day toilet-flushing limits this winter.

Joe Biden is insisting on a full dining room set as a stage prop for his Democratic convention speech, won't say why. He's really pushing his luck; after weeks of negotiations, campaign managers only grudgingly agreed to give him a microphone.

A U-Haul truck full of supplies for a Joe Biden campaign visit to Detroit was stolen this weekend. Secret Service demands return of the truck's contents, but makes no demand for return of the confused, incoherent 69-year-old man who was dozing in the passenger seat when it was hijacked.

Bill Clinton is the only Democratic convention speaker who's not turned in his speech for vetting yet. Campaign organizers are fretting over rumor he's demanding a stripper pole as a stage prop.

After the Clint Eastwood debacle, the Obama campaign is rethinking its invitation to Charlie Sheen to introduce the president at this week's Democratic convention.